MikWright has an off-kilter greeting for any birthday or all-occasion need.

random quips make your card choice stand out and provoke “something.” crack open a box of wine. peruse. proceed.

 
 

birthday

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786 - four steps to a better you
$3.95
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785 - no "i" in team
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784 - i declare an emergency
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783 - gigantic tease
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782 - ancestor123
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781 - don't start that shit
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780 - bon jour
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779 - salted caramel pot brownies
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778 - 39? ship has sunk
$3.95
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777 - last injection
$3.95
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776 - don't worry about forgetting stuff
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775 - juice cleanse
$3.95
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774 - same shit every year
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773 - overachiever
$3.95
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772 - #almostdrunkenough
$3.95
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771 - kick somebody's ass
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770 - go with the fro
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769 - my happy face
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768 - my busy season
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767 - melons looking droopy
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766 - not into that
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765 - four hour erection
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762 - stiffer your joints
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761 - six doctors
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760 - doubt your choices
$3.50
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758 - what happens in vegas
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757 - third day without a b.m.
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756 - this getting old shit
$3.50
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754 - bat-shit crazy
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753 - just when you thought
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752 - high
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751 - wrinkles in that birthday suit
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750 - advice with a grain of salt
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749 - to be honest
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746 - looked into the mirror
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744 - laughed at their own farts
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742 - stuck to the naugahyde
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741 - raise skirt, lower expectations
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740 - sex-o'clock somewhere
$3.50
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738 - roll of laundry quarters
$3.50
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737 - peace, prosperity and promiscuity
$3.50
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736 - phone sex and dark chocolate
$3.50
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735 - early bird special
$3.50
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734 - you'd be ecstatic too
$3.50
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733 - everything you need
$3.50
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731 - work in women's shoes
Sale Price:$1.69 Original Price:$3.95
sale
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730 - trashy is as trashy does
$3.95
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729 - crisis creates opportunity
Sale Price:$0.99 Original Price:$3.50
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727 - queen for a day
$3.95
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722 - like you never drank dinner
$3.95
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721 - own a mirror
$3.50
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720 - unattainable
Sale Price:$1.69 Original Price:$3.50
sale
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719 - ho at this hoedown
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718 - take a load off
$3.50
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717 - closer to E.D.
$3.50
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716 - girl to girl
$3.50
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715 - a donation on your behalf
$3.95
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100 - rope 'n ride
Sale Price:$0.99 Original Price:$3.50
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099 - cougar need some catnip
$3.95
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098 - poop du jour
Sale Price:$0.69 Original Price:$3.50
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097 - good colon cleanse
$3.50
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096 - quit creepin'
$3.50
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095 - ticket to ride
$3.95
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094 - i'll save you
Sale Price:$2.00 Original Price:$3.25
sale
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092 - hire the neighbor kid
$3.95
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091 - i ripped one
$3.95
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090 - it's that creepy taxidermist
Sale Price:$0.49 Original Price:$1.25
sale
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089 - loves her some boxed wine
$3.95
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088 - birthdays are always a trip
$3.95
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086 - relax and have a cocktail
$3.95
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083 - what's up his sleeve
$3.25
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081 - to thine own self be medicated
Sale Price:$2.00 Original Price:$3.50
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075 - wave goodbye to youth
$3.95
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072 - last time i checked was now
$3.95
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070 - sums up your youth
$3.95
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069 - one of my favorite people
$3.95
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059 - velveeta
$3.25
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058 - kitchen fart
$3.95
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057 - wiener shrinks when it hits pool
$3.95
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053 - good bowel movement
$3.95
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050 - vodka, not just for breakfast
$3.95
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047 - call it a hobby
$3.50
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046 - big feet
$3.50
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042 - i can't be around her
Sale Price:$2.00 Original Price:$3.25
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040 - whatever age you claim to be
$3.95
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039 - dog years you'd be dead
$3.95
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038 - discount sperm bank
$3.95
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035 - dna results
$3.25
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030 - low on vodka
$3.95
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023 - monica martini
$3.95
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